I Was A “Stage 5 Clinger”

My first clue came in yoga last Saturday, when I moved through my poses about as smoothly as rusty bike on a cobblestone road. I’ll be honest; the week prior had been a shitstorm, with several unexpected and rather unpleasant dramas unfolding all around me. My life had suddenly become fraught with challenges – kid stuff, social stuff, ex-husband stuff, and work stuff – all heaped on in one big serving.

So as I lay there in Savasana, the instructor tugging on my hips to try to release my lower back, I became acutely aware of how tightly I had been holding on. In the face of uncertainty, my reflexive reaction was to grab on to whatever I believed might give me some safety. To contract and protect and defend myself, and defend what I thought I had created. And in that moment I noticed how uncomfortable that really was, both physically and mentally.

As I spent some time reflecting over the next few days, I decided to look at this cluster of events an invitation… a vehicle by which some important things could be brought to the surface for healing. And it was also an opportunity for me to practice what it is I really long for… that act of letting go. Of sweet surrender. Of trust.

Because when I look closely, every time I have consciously let go in my life I have received everything I thought I was holding on to. It’s such a beautiful paradox.  Letting go of control has given me back my power. Letting go of failures has brought me new opportunities. Letting go of relationships that have run their course has brought me amazing new connections. When I let down my barriers to love I receive more love. Even physically clearing out “stuff” in my house has created space for new experiences – literally overnight. Oh, how quickly I forget!

Fight or flight is hard-wired into us. When we feel threatened it’s the natural reaction for many of us to grab on or to dig in our heels. And for others it’s to run away. And this energy is as contagious as the Ebola virus. And you know what? It doesn’t feel good. It certainly didn’t make me feel any better to buy into the drama or to talk about the conflicts.

I believe that the events of the last week or so have been a gift for me. They are calling me forward to an even deeper place of surrender. They are healing old wounds and helping me release old limiting beliefs so that I am stronger and ready for the next level. And in a beautiful twist of fate, my next opportunity has already presented itself, and now I’m up for the challenge.

How tightly do you hold on to what’s safe or known, when what you really long for is to let go? What if instead you relaxed and allowed yourself to be supported? There is something so freeing about relaxing into what is. About recognizing that what you think is happening “to” you is actually happening “for” you.

I am fortunate to have some very wise teachers in my life to remind me that I am safe, and so are you. You are OK no matter what appears to be happening around you. And every experience – even those that seem bad, unfair or wrong – is an opportunity for me to step into more of who I really am, and for you to step into more of who you really are.

In the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Let go and let God.” Or as I like to say, “let go and let it flow”. Leap and the net will appear. On the count of three……