How to Get More Love this Valentines Day (and beyond!)

Have you ever wished for more love in your life? Have you ever felt like love is something outside of yourself that you need to “get” or “find?” If so, you are certainly not alone. Most of us are raised with that sense that love is something external that we need to earn and then work hard to keep.

But that really couldn’t be farther from the truth. We spend countless hours “looking for love,” when really love comes from inside ourselves and then is reflected back to us through our experiences. Does this sound a little woo-woo? Just bear with me…

Spiritual teachers have been telling us for centuries that love begins with YOU. That you must first love yourself before you can truly love another. That any healthy relationship is the result of two whole, self-loving people coming together to share experiences, rather than any person needing to feel “completed” by someone else (sorry, Jerry Maguire).

When you love yourself, and SHOW love to yourself, you are creating an energetic vibration that draws that love right back to you. It’s like telling the Universe, “I am a person worthy of unlimited love!” And when you love, honor and respect yourself, others have almost no choice but to follow suit. Does this mean that you’ll never be hurt or experience disappointment – No. But even if you do it will have been a much nicer journey if you were loving on yourself all along!

Here are some simple tips to practice self-love:

Make self-care a priority. It may seem selfish to take time for yourself when you have a boatload of responsibilities, but it is really a very “Self-Ful” thing to do. When you nourish yourself regularly you are in a much better position to nourish others, wholeheartedly and without resentment.

Be your own BFF. When you are feeling down, frustrated, disappointed, etc. write a note to yourself in your journal, and say exactly what you wish a close friend, parent or partner would say to you – the exact thing you most want to hear. For example, here’s an excerpt from my personal journal from just the other night when I was getting down on myself for procrastinating on this newsletter!

“Look sweetie, you didn’t feel good today, you are tired and a little sick and it’s your time of the month, and it’s a full moon coming! You don’t have to be perfect/upbeat/positive all the time. You just don’t feel 100% and that’s OK. You worked really hard in January and showed up really powerfully and now you just want to rest and be nurtured by someone else for a bit, which is totally human and OK.” (This worked like a charm, BTW. Plus, no risk of someone else not saying the right thing!)

Practice the Power Affirmation Trio. Take a moment each day to look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and complete the following affirmations:

• Name, I am proud of you for __________________.

• Name, I forgive you for __________________.

• Name, I am committed to __________________.