Raising the Bar
How to Manage the Upper Limit Problem & Make it to the Summit!
We’ve all been there. You had a great day, you got that raise or promotion, reached your goal weight, met an awesome new guy… and then BAM! Something happens to bring you down. You get sick, you have an argument with your mother, you forget to pay a bill. Or maybe – like me – you had a huge success and then suddenly found yourself paralyzed, unable to move forward, and blaming circumstances beyond your control (kids home for summer, the economy, the dog, etc.) for your inaction.
Most people assume that this is just the way life goes, that shit happens that we have no control over. And yeah, these problems definitely appear real. But did you ever stop to wonder if the “bad” thing was actually something you manufactured to rain on your own parade? (Trust me, it’s possible!)
It’s my belief that ou r life experience is dictated by what we choose to focus on. And that sometimes when life starts to feel too good, we get nervous, or we feel undeserving or incapable, and so we suddenly shift our focus to something upsetting. This may show up as an argument, a drama, a new obstacle or perceived failure, or even getting sick or hurt.
In his book The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes this “Upper Limit Problem” phenomenon, and some of the reasons behind it. It’s basically your subconscious mind’s way of keeping you in the land of the “familiar”, the “uncomfortably comfortable.” Deep down in there are some insidious false beliefs (aka Possibility Bandits) that are telling you that you are not good enough or worthy enough.
The important thing to understand is that you do have a choice about how much happiness you allow yourself, and how much negativity you allow into your life. Here are a few tips to help you manage this phenomenon, so you can keep moving toward all the success and happiness you deserve.
Be on the lookout. When things are going really well, notice any “problems” that show up. Are your spouse’s imperfections suddenly glaring and intolerable when just yesterday everything was hunky dory? Hmm.
Be curious. Ask yourself if this new challenge could possibly be an occurrence of this upper limit phenomenon, and if this issue really demands your focus. What if you decided to stay focused on what’s working really well or refused to get dragged into negativity?
Raise your threshold. Remind yourself that you are enough, you are deserving, and that you being your happiest, healthiest, and most successful self inspires others to do the same.
