Discover the Power of Living in Questions
Are you over all the New Year hype yet? I have to be honest, I kind of am. In fact I was never really feeling it in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for new beginnings and fresh starts. I firmly believe that we have the power to reinvent ourselves and our lives, but that’s something that is available to us each and every day, not just once a year.
I also practice setting powerful intentions daily and monthly on each New Moon, so when the New Year rolled around this year I was like “what else can I possibly ask for?” And, being in the personal growth world, I noticed I was putting some heavy duty pressure on myself to come up with some impressive, meaningful, intentions (I gave up “resolutions” long ago as they are a set-up for self-sabotage.) It was putting me in a real funk. I mean, what kind of coach doesn’t set New Year’s intentions?
And then I decided to shift gears. I realized I was falling into a case of the “shoulds” (darn those Possibility Bandits!) I decided instead to do a little reflecting on the celebrations and lessons of the last year, and see if I could discern where life is calling me next.
And here’s what I arrived at. Rather than creating more intentions or resolutions, I decided to focus on Questions. And on being instead of doing.
Over the last several years, through divorce, starting a business, pushing myself relentlessly, healing from my eating disorder, multiple thousands of dollars invested in personal growth & training, and some humbling life lessons… I’ve come to appreciate the power of living in questions.
This isn’t always easy, because we as human beings struggle big-time with uncertainty. We want to know the answers, we want to know what to expect. And when we don’t – well things can get a little wonky. We become fearful, we get obsessed with control, with doing, with outcomes, and quite often with food and our bodies as one way of feeling “in control”.
Learning to live with uncertainty is far and away one of the most significant life victories we can achieve (topped only by forgiveness). Take it from this recovering control-freak.
Trust. Faith. Surrender. Easier said than done.
However, the cool thing is that while we struggle to achieve some semblance of control and predictability in our lives, while we fight to control external circumstances, and while we wrangle with trying to fix or force away our unwanted habits, the answers we seek already living inside of us.
It’s all about asking the right questions. Powerful questions. Open-Ended Questions. Questions that tap into the higher wisdom that always resides in your core.
Questions like:
- How do I want to feel today?
- What am I really hungry for in this moment?
- What am I resisting?
- How can I bring compassion to this situation?
- What is the way through this?
So, rather than set an intention I decided to choose a powerful question to guide me daily for 2014. And so here it is: the million dollar question…
“Who am I being?”
In any given moment, situation, challenge, or opportunity, how am I showing up? Am I showing up lovingly with an open heart? Am I showing up authentically and courageously? Am showing up as a woman who values herself? Or am I showing up in fear and self-protection? In judgement of self or others, or in old, outworn identities that no longer serve me.
It’s already helped me pull myself out of a couple of fearful emotional tailspins and moved me into empowered action, and it’s only been a few days!
Michelle, your circumstances may not be ideal, and ultimately you do have the power to change them. But even when you can’t change them right away you still have control over who you are BEING in the face of them. In fact it’s who you are being that will ultimately lead to the change you seek. And questions will get you there.
So this year, I invite you to toss out the resolutions and join me in living in questions. For starters, who are YOU being today?
Wishing you a magical 2014!
