Eureka!!! I’ve Discovered the Key to Happiness!

We all want to be happy, right? Happiness, peace, salvation… Whatever name you use, it’s this elusive thing that everybody is always trying to figure out the secret to. I’ve discovered that the key to happiness is really pretty simple. Drum roll, please……All it takes is refusing to accept conditions. It’s about getting clear on how you want to be, how you want to show up, how you want to feel eventually, and then making the choice to be that right now. Deciding that there are no conditions that need to be met in order for you to be there. And then aligning your thoughts, words and actions with that decision.Here are a couple examples of how I figured this out.Example #1: Not long ago a friend said something that offended me. It triggered a bunch of my own stuff, threatened some of my core values, etc.… I found myself reacting very strongly in that familiar old “you hurt my feelings” mindset. My first impulse was to stew, play the victim, and then most likely to reach out to other people about it and rally allies for my cause. You know the drill – “Can you believe this person said that to me? What should I do about it?”I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until I have reached the point when this type of thing doesn’t bother me. When I can say ‘it has nothing to do with me’ and just let it roll.” Then, like a swift kick in the rump, I had the idea, “Duh! What if I get to decide when I’ve reached that point, and what if that point is now?” Someone who had reached “that point” wouldn’t need to discuss this with anyone; they probably wouldn’t give it much energy at all. They’d just chalk it up to that friend having a bad day and go on their happy way. I decided to give it a try. And I have to say, it worked.Example #2: My ex had just gone public with a new relationship. We’re all in the same circle with school functions and sporting events, etc.  So I was faced with the question, where am I supposed to sit at these things now? Some would say that a certain amount of time needs to go by before everybody can all be friendly and comfortable in this situation. So I could of course sit far away from them and feel awkward and uncomfortable. But I knew that eventually I would love to have that Bruce & Demi dynamic with my ex and whomever else is in our lives. That’s my ultimate vision. So I decided to test my theory again. I allowed the possibility that there were no time conditions to achieving that goal, that I could choose to be like Bruce & Demi anytime I want, and I choose now. We now sit and cheer together at the kids sporting events, and you know what? I’m happy. (Still waiting for my Ashton Kutcher 🙂 )We all have stuff that rattles us or threatens our peace of mind. So here’s my challenge to you – give it a try!The next time something jeopardizes your happiness, whether it’s something someone else says or does, the end of a relationship, or the feeling that you never have enough time, follow these simple steps:

1. Ask yourself, “How do I eventually want to be in relation to this kind of upset?”
2. Become aware of the conditions you think need to be met, and remember that they aren’t necessary.
3. Practice using the thoughts, words and actions that someone who WAS there would use, RIGHT NOW – just pretend if you have to!

Heck, if you don’t like the results you can always go back to the old way.