“I’m so weak.”
“I have no willpower.”
“I’m out of control.”
These are the statements I usually hear from my clients after they’ve experienced a food binge. And I get it, I used to have those same thoughts too.
Every time I experienced a binge (which at one period in my life was multiple times a day), I was filled with shame and despair and a sense of total powerlessness. I was pretty sure there must be something seriously wrong with me because I couldn’t control myself with food.
What I didn’t realize was that a binge was not a display of some inherent character defect or weakness…
It was evidence of my POWER.
That’s right, a binge is a display of inherent personal power.
Think about it. Trying to control your appetite is suppressing a natural urge for life. Placing mental restrictions on yourself and your food intake is an attempt to go against nature.
“You cannot go against nature, because when you do… go against nature, it’s part of nature too.” – Love & Rockets
Inside of you is an incredibly powerful life force that has no concept of containment. We are all born with the inherent urge for more life. Just like a tree is driven to grow taller and fuller (it doesn’t worry about what the other trees will think), every living thing is wired with an urge for expansion. And for human beings appetite is one of the representations of that urge.
Every time you choose to eat, your soul is choosing to live.
Problem is, that urge gets distorted by our misguided belief that food=fat, and that the result of our appetite (urge for growth) is inevitably going to be growth into a larger and larger body (BULLSHIT). And of course, we’re indoctrinated into a belief system that says that a larger body is just about the worst thing that can happen to a woman (also BULLSHIT).
But when a soul urge is suppressed, it does not shrink. It actually becomes stronger and stronger. The other interesting thing about the soul is that when it experiences an energetic imbalance, it is naturally self-correcting.
A binge is simply a counter-balancing response to strict control and suppression. It’s a display of your personal power, rising up to restore balance – in an explosive way. And it’s there to remind you that you are an incredibly powerful being.
Your soul is not just going to roll over and let itself be squashed down. And that’s a damn good thing!
Because when you own that power and apply that power in a life-affirming direction – look out world!
In my recovery from binge eating, the most surprising thing I found was that when I stopped trying NOT to eat or binge, my urges to binge completely vanished. And I started to feel powerful again. Not from being “In CONTROL” but from realizing that control is an illusion and that my appetites – both physical and otherwise – are simply life force energy in action.
To your bright spark within, celebrate the binge! ☺
