For starters, here’s some stuff I’m not super cool with:
- Vulnerability… Like exposed, heart on the line, potential for rejection kind of vulnerability.
- Uncertainty… The great unknown. I want to know how things are going to turn out.
- Surrender… What, you mean I’m not in control? But I want to make stuff happen, I want the outcome that I want!
You know what I mean?
“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably live with.” – Tony Robbins
Tall order. Seriously. But I’m workin’ on it.
Lately it seems that the Universe is challenging me to strengthen my muscles in all of these areas. I want to be a master at this! And yet I am where I am, I have only the strength I have in this moment. And there are times when I am afraid. Deeply afraid. Old wounds rearing their ugly heads and screaming, “Here you are again, you fool!”
And sometimes I really begin to doubt myself. I see a reflection of myself that is less-than.
I found myself in this place last week, a place of self-doubt, self-attack and even a touch of compare & despair. I found myself asking questions like “Why can’t I be more ________ or less ________ ?” or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t ________ or that I’m not ________?”
Not super empowering questions.
And then I remembered, everything I’m seeing is just a reflection of my own projections of fear and doubt. And I was reminded of a simple prayer that I created several years ago.
It’s actually a prayer I created for the work that I do with clients around body image. I share it in my body image workshops and intensives, and I’ve used it myself many times when I’ve found myself attacking my body.
Because that used to be my M.O. when I felt fearful or powerless – I would instantly start to focus on how I needed to change or fix my body because it gave me a false sense of control. If I could perfect my body, then I would be in control of life. I wouldn’t be vulnerable. I wouldn’t have to surrender to the unknown.
I know better now, I no longer attack my body. But now I just have to sit with the real issues. Ouch.
So I decided to try this prayer on for size last week, and see if it works for SELF image as well.
The answer.. a resounding YES.
So if you are feeling self doubt, Michelle, when you are feeling afraid, lost, despairing, unloved, unlovable… when your heart is hurting and your soul is longing and your circumstances are challenging and you don’t know what to do, I invite you to try this prayer:
Dear God*, please heal my vision and show me myself through your eyes.
(*insert whatever term resonates with you – God, Goddess, Life, Universe, etc.)
Write it out by hand, 30 times in a row. Twice a day for 3 days or until you feel a shift. Whatever it takes. But write it out, over and over, and watch what happens inside of you.
As you focus on the words and the subtle movement of pen to paper, from the in-between spaces new insights start to come through. A doorway is opened for your soul to speak to you with the gentle voice of truth. Your true source of power and value re-emerges. Your next steps are revealed to you. You receive nourishment. You experience Grace.
This prayer has never disappointed me, and so I wanted to offer it up to you today, wherever you are, to keep in your back pocket, for the next time you could use a serving of Grace as well.
I would LOVE to hear from you if this helps you in some way. Please share in the comments below if this shifted things for you!
Wishing you true nourishment and endless possibilities,